I foresee somewhere along my time in life, my thoughts and insecurities will slowly eat up every ounce of self worth and self confidence that I have.
And then I’ll be nothing.
"Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us."
No tears to sleep. Please.
I hate arguments. I hate quarrels. I hate how I react to the simplest things ever and make it seem like everyone’s at fault except me.
I know my problem, I know my weaknesses. But why doesn’t it go away. I try and try so hard but nothing seems to be working.
I add on to others’ emotional burdens, I can’t think in the perspective of others.
I hate it. I hate myself so much I can’t even.
I make myself look like an idiot getting pissed over small issues even though they are not worth the time. Sometimes I don’t even know why.
I feel so tired fighting all these. So tired. Everything seems to be against me. Days and days passed and each one of them never fails to let me feel that I’m a loser in life & I’ll never do anything right. The insecurities in my head haunt me every single night.
What am I supposed to feel. What am I supposed to do.
I feel so incompetent. I don’t have that confidence to think that everyone stays with me because each one of them slowly leaves. And it’s all because of me. Problems after problems, fights after fights, it’s all because of me.
What’s wrong with me. I’m just asking for it and I deserve all this shit that happened.
I am a burden. Leaving me just lift a huge load off others’ shoulders. Nobody should even stay with me.
I get upset over the smallest matter I don’t even know why.
It’s so difficult to open up and tell others my problem and that I’m just bringing more trouble to others. I’m not even worth the time.
How am I supposed to talk about it when I don’t even know how to. Things just get worse and worse.
It’s all about give and take but why am I not giving enough. Why can’t I do the same. Why can’t I change.
When did the independent girl become so dependent on others.
Where did the girl who always put up a strong front go to.
Where did the girl who always laugh and smile go to.
Where did the girl who dislikes troubling others go to.
Where Rachelle, where did all this go?
Why did you become so petty.
Why did you become a burden to others.
Why did you become so reliant on others.
Why did everything changed so fast. You promised not to, but you failed. Terribly.
I failed. I’m a loser.
"Don’t let your insecurities win; because when you do, it’d break you slowly and all at once in the end."